journal entry #5~rooster of misery

firewood, photo by travis white

I slept well again last night until a confused rooster started crowing long before sunrise. I lay in my sleeping bag and listened to the village wake up. First the goats started bleating sweetly, reminding me of my 4H goat raising days. Next I started to hear women's voices as they began their day's work. All the while that stupid rooster kept crowing, only stopping when the first sunlight washed over the village. Now I'm sitting in our little hut trying not to listen as the men are killing a goat. Stupidly, I can't keep myself from crying! The sounds are terrible as one man has each of its front legs and they force it to walk across the village upright. I fully understand the need for them to kill goats, and in fact I am incredibly honored that they are doing this in order to feed us--it's a great sacrifice. I hope I can eat it...I need to get a grip.
I'm dreading clinic today. Yesterday we saw about 200 people in 4 hours. I almost think it would be better to do nothing than to offer help that seems so insignificant. Maybe that's Satan messing with my mind--
--a sweet little girl just came up to me to shyly shake my hand and say good morning. Her nose was running all over the place. I'll end this for the moment because the women just brought us some rice for breakfast...

village boys

malawian man